Juspera's Good Ole GS4 Page / Humor

Doggess

"Stop being such an idito!"

This was most likely from one of the New Year's open house nights in the early 2000s.

A large hand comes out of the pool, splashing Juspera.

You shriek!

You exclaim, "My pears will get wet!"

Then the hand sinks beneath the surface.

You hear the voice of Andraste say, "You know..."

You hear the voice of Andraste say, "I can tell I'm gonna have to take a pear away."

You exclaim, "no no no!"

You say, "I will not abuse my pears."

You say, "I love my pears."

You place your hand on your imflass mail bodice.

You hear the voice of Andraste say, "No, you'll have others abuse them."

You squint.

You feel something poke you in the ribs.

You say, "Anyway, I have other things in there. It wouldn't have the same effect."

In the blue velvet skirt you see a curly red wig.

You glance at a pear.

You glance at a curly red wig.

You hear someone sigh.

You hear the voice of Andraste say, "Okay, now I have to look."

Andraste suddenly fades into sight beside you.

Andraste glances at you.

You laugh out loud!

You show Andraste your blue velvet skirt.

Andraste buries her face in her hands.

You exclaim, "I never show anyone, I swear!"

Andraste says, "I'm blind, I swear."

Later...

Sabitor asks, "Juspera, you are aware that the goddess of this... temple... is following you?"

You blink.

You ask, "What the heck is a tourbillon?"

You exclaim, "I have never been to vruul!"

Sabitor says, "I offer this, my lapis lazuli, favored gem of the goddess of the temple."

Sabitor kneels down.

Sabitor put some blue lapis lazuli on a beautiful lapis lazuli altar.

Holding the edge of his black silk cloak, Sabitor bows deeply with a flourish.

Sabitor snickers.

You hear the voice of Andraste say, "a vortex esp. of a whirlwind or whirlpool"

You say, "Thank you, page."

[Andraste's Temple, Altar]
White marble floors leading up to this small, round dais offset the rich blue of the altar.  Flickering candlelight creates dancing shadows off on the periphery, while to the side, a slowly spinning tourbillon begins to form and gain momentum.  Glimpses of what appears to be a portal occassionally peek through the dark windy column.  You also see a beautiful lapis lazuli altar with some stuff on it.
Also in the room: Mirsen
Obvious exits: down.

You remove a small lump of coal from in your cloak.

You hear someone cackle.

You put a small lump of coal on a beautiful lapis lazuli altar.

You kneel down.

You murmur some prayers under your breath.

You exclaim, "O Great Doggess Andraste!"

You exclaim, "Hear my prayer!"

You hear someone cackle.

You hear someone laugh.

You exclaim, "Have thee mercy in the face of pert peaches!"

You hear someone cackle.

You exclaim, "And impertinent pears!"

You say, "Especially those."

You exclaim, "Dispense thy wrath upon the great Nicodemes and Burzmallis of the land!"

Andraste whispers, "You're killing me here!"

You gaze heavenward.

Sabitor says, "Especially the first."

Sabitor says, "Because I don't know the second."

A delicate white beeswax candle burns with a warm golden light.

You exclaim, "A sign!"

Sabitor exclaims, "What sign!"

Mirsen exclaims, "Doggess!"

You glance at a delicate white beeswax candle.

Mirsen beams!

Sabitor exclaims, "I see no sign!"

Mirsen kneels down.

You exclaim, "The candle flared!"

You elbow Sabitor in the ribs in a playful sort of way.

Sabitor exclaims, "Oh yes!"

Sabitor exclaims, "A sign!"

You hear someone chuckling.

Sabitor asks, "A sign of the ... doggess?"

You exclaim, "O great Doggess!"

Mirsen barks!

Sabitor barks wildly at a beautiful lapis lazuli altar!

(Sabitor bows his head to the altar.)

Mirsen exclaims, "Oooh, Doggess, hear us!"

You exclaim, "Show great mercy on the witty lass with the somewhat-borderline-but-not-really-vulgar jokes!"

You say, "You know the one."

A bit of melted wax drips from a delicate white beeswax candle with a hiss.  The flame jumps, burning high for a moment, then settles into a warm glow.

Sabitor says, "I think she hears us loud and clear."

Andraste whispers, "Oh gods... I'm laughing so hard."

Mirsen exclaims, "Remember trees are better than adventurers for doggesses!"

Sabitor says, "All right, I need to ask."

You notice a vein pulsing in Sabitor's forehead.

Sabitor asks, "What is a doggess?"

Mirsen says, "I don't know."

Sabitor exclaims, "All right!"

Mirsen says, "But it sounds canine."

You say, "It is a dyslexig Goddess."

Mirsen says, "Oh."

Mirsen blushes a lovely shade of bright pink.

Sabitor exclaims, "Honor and glory to the followers of the Doggess Andraste!"

Mirsen says, "Your pardon, doggess."

You say, "And I am a dyslexic woshripper."

You stare at nothing in particular.

You exclaim, "O yes!"

You exclaim, "You must petition the other Dogs and Doggesses for us!"

Sabitor exclaims, "Juspera! Stop being such an idito!"

You exclaim, "For instance, you must petition Smite to teach the guild masters new tricks!"

Sabitor exclaims, "And tell him to look after Icemule!"

Mirsen exclaims, "And send us a bench!"

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Juspera's Good Ole GS4 Page / Humor