Juspera's Good Ole GS4 Page / Humor

Top Tens

"Water is the absolute worst liquid you could ever imagine drinking." - Maylan, in the Elanthian Vogue

March 2020: Top Ten Things to Name Your Dual Weapons

To participate in the top tens contest, send your entries to gs4page@gmail.com with the subject "Top Ten." Winners will be chosen according to my own sense of humor, which may not correspond with what anyone else thinks is funny.

January 2020: Top Ten Elanthian New Year's Resolutions

10. "Not stab anyone." (Rohese)
9. "Spikethorn more, breeze less." (Leifa)
8. "Burn more things than last year. Renewed commitment to murdering all bandits and ghosties in existence. Pondering therapy." (Treeva)
7. “My 2020 resolution is to implement a RESOLVE verb.” (Faerinn)
6. "Enter more top ten contests." (Nehor)
5. "Find Murstyr a love interest." (Talinvor)
4. "Become Murstyr's love interest." (Akenna)
3. “This is the year I’m finally going to avenge my dad. Or whatever my backstory was. It’s been what? 20 years? Anyway this the year.” (Faerinn)
2. "Cure the blight, then drop the Landing into a burning sinkhole out of spite." (Raelee)
1."Konmari my inventory so hard there's no more than 5 items in any one locker and no more than 5 items on my person" (Traiva) and “I’ll finally read Tidying Up by Fantasy Marie Kondo, get my locker cleaned up, and not just shove it all on another mule. As soon as it’s released at the Ta’Illistim book fair. Otherwise it’s OOC.” (Faerinn)

October 2019: Top Ten Least Desirable Items at the Ebon Gate Festival

I didn't get many entries for this contest, so I've fleshed it out with my own nonsense; the first seven are mine.

10. A delicately clinging set of eelskin long underwear
9. Climatewear that only protects against sneezes.
8. A 6x wool-wrapped fist-scythe with static cling flares
7. Leeches that allow you to suck nasal mucus from sick children
6. Shirts that can be layered on other shirts and also allow you to pop the collar on all of them at once
5. Puppies that turn into fully-suited furries under the light of the full moon
4. A T5 RainboWear unlock that turns your character gay

And now, the actual entries...

3. Oh, did you see the unpermifier? Put in shells, make your items get limited uses! (Qualeric)
2. Definitely the werellamas. Too much ambient spitting. (Qualeric)
1. A book on nose picking called, "The Flick and Roll." (Thandiwe)

September 2019: Top Ten Worst-Selling Titles at the Wehnimer's Landing Bookstore

10. "A Ranger's Guide to Pathfinding" (Erek)
9. "The Comprehensive Savant Guide" (Macillus)
8. "This One Time, at Claedesbrim ~ A Novel, by Estrion" (Elysia)
7. "What Am I Smellling?" - a Welcome Guide to Kharam Dzu (Ysharra)
6. "Stuck in a Rut: the Ritual That Is Krolvin Mating Season" (Zolis)
5. "Your Bester You! Living your Best Life, but Better. By Nehor." (Nehor)
4. "Culinary Callings: Current from the Clouds (a Call Lightning Cookbook)" (Naos)
3. "The South Will Rise Again: The Grand Old Days of the Kannalan Empire" (Xorus)
2. "Sorcerery in Black and White: One Hundred and One Damnations" (Yrsa)
1. "How Not to Die During Rainstorms" (Thrassus)

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Juspera's Good Ole GS4 Page / Humor