| WARN Verb Soon To Be
Expanded
ST. LOUIS--Pleased with the reception of the new WARN verb in GemStone III,
Simutronics Thursday released their intention to add several more options
to the verb, to address even more of the most common player conflict situations.
GM Andraste spoke hopefully about the new additions. "This is a big step
toward addressing some of the persistent concerns our players have had about
each other," she said in Thursday's press conference. "There's no way to
cover all types of conflict, of course, but these are things players have
complained about consistently over the history of the game."
Part of the package given to attending press was a tentative "usage guide"
for the new aspects of the word. We reprint this usage guide here as a service
to our readers.
Usage: WARN <player> of <offense>
When this method is employed, an OOC message will be sent to the player,
privately letting them know your feelings, to clear up any possible doubt
about where you both stand.
SCAMMING
Suitable for when another player has misrepresented an item sold to you.
The offender will receive a message stating that you feel you have been cheated
in your purchase, and that a record will be kept of your objection to his
selling practices.
NAME
Suitable for when you feel another player's name breaches GemStone III naming
guidelines. A message is sent to the player in question stating that someone
else feels the player's name is inappropriate for the game environment. It
is up to the receiving player to decide whether to take the advice to heart
and reroll.
ALTERATION
Suitable for when you feel another player's alteration is inappropriate,
hard on the eyes, or just plain hideous. The message seen by the receiving
player will inform that player of how much an eyesore you believe his item
is.
PDA
Short for "public display of affection," this option is suitable for when
another player is engaging in an obscene display of affection such as deep
kissing in the town park, constant snuggling and cooing, or endless hugs
that scroll everything else off your screen. A message is sent to the offender
advising him to get a room.
VULTURING
Suitable for when another player has committed an act of "vulturing" such
as heedlessly healing or raising a body you rescued yourself. A message will
be sent to the offender detailing just what you think of his inconsiderate
body-thieving hide.
ROLEPLAYING
Suitable for when another player is disturbing your hunt or rest by trying
to roleplay with you. A message will be sent to the offender stating that
you do not appreciate his attempts to be a good little GM ass-kisser, and
that he can take his "thee"s and "thou"s and go to hell.
It is not known when the changes will be implemented, but the staff is hopeful.
"With these improvements, we'll be covering all the biggest whines we have
to hear from players day in and day out," finished GM Andraste, "And maybe
we can finally get some <expletive> work done." |
Outrageous Pawnshop Scam Unmasked
WEHNIMER'S LANDING--In a stunning revelation yesterday, the Elanthian Business
Bureau announced that Kilron's Pawnshop of Wehnimer's Landing does not, in
fact, allow items to be pawned. "In a normal pawn shop, you hand over your
item for cash and get a ticket guaranteeing you can buy it back yourself
at a higher price within the month," said Rastaph Mutler of the Bureau. "Only
after month's end is your item put up for general sale." Apparently, however,
Kilron immediately places items entrusted to him up for resale. Patrons are
shocked, and only time will tell whether this outrageous scam will surface
in other parts of the continent.
Wizard Condemns Nazis
ZUL LOGOTH--Wizard Nasbet Procter took a strong stance against the Nazis
this Leyan, especially local healer Miriarra Lampsight, sources report. Around
3:50 PM Elven, Procter reportedly took to the Zul Logoth amunet to ask what
a krynch was. When Lampsight asked why he wanted to know, Procter responded,
"Because one's right in front of me." Lampsight remarked, "There you go,
then," after which Procter flew into a righteous rage, replying "Gee, thanks
a lot," "Smart ass," and finally, after a long pause, "I wish you goddamn
nazis would shut up and mind your own business."
Criminals Unfair, Customer Reports
SOLHAVEN--Misshandra Leiei, a would-be passenger abord the smuggler's cutter
Live Bait, complained strenuously yesterday of the crew's business
practices. "Twice I bought a ticket for 50k, and both times they dumped us
all out on the beach with no refund," she claimed, fuming. "That is completely
unfair and very bad business, I might add." On hearing Leiei's remarks, Live
Bait captain Knaydl -- who has made her living for years by illegally
smuggling goods into and out of the imperially blocked port -- responded,
"Aye, dumping passengers after they pay is terrible for business," shortly
before collapsing into gales of tearful laughter.
"Animal" Companion Not Worth It
WEHNIMER'S LANDING--Jojis Murken is unhappy with his new companion. "She
won't scout, she won't guard me, she won't take the pork haunches I feed
her," the sylvan ranger complains. Murken says he was directed to seek a
companion in the nondescript brick building on West Ring Road, where a
receptionist asked what kind of companion he wanted. "An animal," Murken
insisted, at which the receptionist led out a young blond woman wearing fuzzy
cat ears. "I've tried to be patient like they say, but she's still impossible
to train," says Murken. "All she does is roll around, purr and lick me."
Murken sighs. "She's hardly worth the 100k a night." |
Pants Worn on Legs, Inspection Reveals
Mystery Blue Ora Falchion Not Really a Mystery
Tilaok Dumb Name for Moon
Ass Checked
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