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Simutronics Announces Fourth Society for GemStone IV: Charl's Angels

ST. LOUIS--On Sunday, Wyrom shared the news that a fourth society had been released for GemStone. Much like the Order of Voln, Charl's Angels will be a religion-based society, but one focused on solving maritime crimes instead of releasing the souls of the undead.

"We realized that we had very little in the game for those who like to solve crimes or mysteries, and that a fourth society was the perfect venue for this to happen. The proud, avenging Charl calls on adventurers to pursue scoundrels and scallawags of all kinds across land and sea... well, the few rooms of sea that we have."

Wyrom went on to detail how the disembodied voice of Charl would give adventurers assignments involving going undercover, finding clues, seducing evildoers, or just plain looking amazing. He also previewed some of the society's special abilities:

Stroke of luck: Receive bonus to all SEARCHes while stroke of luck is active.

Stroke of stunts: When stroke of stunts is active, gain a [rank]% chance of flipping and rolling away to evade ranged attacks.

Stroke of distraction: Toss your hair to give 10 seconds of roundtime to all enemies in the room.

Stroke of genius: Be able to recognize that a room is trapped as soon as you enter it, just by the hairs standing up on the back of your neck.

Stroke of three: When hunting in groups of three, receive +20 to AS and DS, and an additional +10 if you have different hair colors.

Stroke of disguise: Alters hair, eyes and clothing to allow you to go undercover. The currently offered builds are underwear model, beauty contestant, and exotic dancer.

For the next month, it will be possible to switch societies without penalty. Adventurers who are tired of slogging through warcamps, mindlessly slaughtering undead, or having overpowered abilities for the cost of only a few spirit may want to give Charl's Angels a try.

Arena Champion Can't Get Anyone to Buy His BS
WEHNIMER'S LANDING--Grand Champion of Duskruin Arena Tibbin Questmor has a problem. No one is buying his BS. "Yeah, I talked to a lot of people. I talked to like three girls yesterday and no one wanted to buy it," Questmor told a Turnip reporter on Niiman. "I told them what I had. I told them I would give it to them anytime. For silvers. Or cash. Anytime, I said. Day or night. I don't even need you to come to me. I'll come to you. Just hit me up." The hero paused to scan the area, looking for potential customers, then continued. "I got a thing going in the arena. I'm a big man. You should see me. I beat it so much it's not even funny." Nearby, a young woman crossed quickly to the other side of the street, carefully avoiding Questmor with her gaze.

Travel Guiding Named Most Dangerous Profession; Memorial Service Planned
TA'VAALOR--In a study released yesterday by the Elanthian Work Commission, travel guiding was named the profession resulting in the most deaths and injuries in 5118. In an interview, the manager of the Ta'Vaalor travel bureau said, "It's true. This past year we had several injuries due to wild creatures and weather, and an unacceptable sixteen deaths, all but one of which were murders." The manager went on to describe how one had occurred just outside the travel office, within earshot. "I heard the client yelling, 'Speed up!' over and over. And then a scream, and then nothing." Those wishing to attend the travel guiding memorial service in Ta'Vaalor may receive half off on guided travel to the city. Please be prepared for a trip of two to infinity hours.

Gargoyle Hugged to Death

Bleakstone Linked to Sexual Promiscuity in Empaths
Auction Removes Silvers, Faith in Elanthian Dream from Lands
Bother of Another Mother
Disclaimer: The Turnip is inspired by, but unrelated to, The Onion.  Names and places mentioned in The Turnip may be real or fictional. The Turnip is for entertainment purposes only and should not be taken as endorsement or condemnation of anything described therein.